The Senshi Meet the Gundam Boys Everything Crazy
by The Queen Of Random
Summary: This is a Crazy Story
1. Chapter 1

Hey Everyone!!!!!!  
  
Whew! All this posting of stories is hard work indeed.  
  
Okay, I promised you guys (at least the ones who read "The Day the   
  
Scouts Just Couldn't Handle: One Episode of Stars That Will Never Air   
  
In the US *or* Japan") that I would do more funny funny stories to  
  
mix in with the semi-funny/stories that have a plot. Well, here ya  
  
go! I plan to make it an actual series, but I don't know if it's going  
  
to have 2 or 20 parts.   
  
Please Please Please Please Please tell me what you think!!!!  
  
I love hearing from people...  
  
KThai123@home.com  
  
For those of you who care, despite the title, this particular chapter  
  
does not feature the GW boys, but they will enter soon. Unless Saturn  
  
Kills everyone before that can happen. (Te. He.)  
  
Again I hope you guys like.  
  
On with the story.  
  
The Queen has Spoken.  
  
So it is written, so it shall be.  
  
~*~  
  
When the Sailor Senshi Meet the Gundam Wing Boys   
  
and   
  
Everything Goes Frightfully Wrong  
  
  
  
Part 1: Getting to the Scene of the Crime  
  
Serena Usagi Tsukino was in one of her most favorite places:   
  
her bed. She was dreaming of her most favorite things: shopping,   
  
eating, and Darien Mamoru Chiba, her current boyfriend and fiance, when  
  
something caused her to wake up. But, being woken up before noon on a   
  
Saturday morning, she didn't yet have enough brainpower to figure out   
  
what it was.  
  
Serena sat up on her elbows. She saw the pink haired girl   
  
appropriately named Chibi Chibi curled up on her side, clutching to   
  
Serena's clothes, and Luna, her black Lunarian cat, sleeping entwined   
  
in her legs, with her claws currently embedded in Serena's calves, and   
  
she was making strange noises as if she were having a bad dream.  
  
Wait.   
  
Claws in calves.  
  
...........  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!" screamed Serena as, miracle of miracles, she   
  
became fully awake at 9:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning. She sprung out   
  
of bed with an agility that would have surprised her friends, causing   
  
both Luna and Chibi Chibi to be catapulted into the air. Chibi Chibi   
  
pulled an umbrella out of god knows where, leisurely opened it, and   
  
floated safely to the ground, while Luna smashed into a nearby wall.   
  
Serena's mother burst into the room to see what was wrong.   
  
"Mommy, look," said Serena pitifully indicating the perfect   
  
half-moon grouping of claw marks. Tears filled her eyes, and her lower  
  
lip trembled.   
  
"Three, two," counted Luna quietly as she slid down the wall to  
  
end up in a heap on the ground. "One."  
  
"WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" cried Serena as a flood of tears began to flow  
  
from her eyes. Miraculously, the room did not get flooded, but   
  
Serena's mom did get drenched while she bandaged up her daughter. When  
  
it was all done, Serena looked down at her neatly bandaged calves, and   
  
turned her crying off with that magical switch, (which no one to date   
  
had been able to locate). She smiled brilliantly at her mother.   
  
"Thanks Mom!" she said.   
  
Her mother nodded and walked out of the room. It was very   
  
lucky that she could read lips because being in such close contact with  
  
Serena while she wailed had caused her to temporarily lose her hearing.   
  
When the door was securely shut, Serena turned angry eyes to   
  
the newly wall-smashed cat. "Luna, I can't believe you did that!" she   
  
exclaimed.   
  
Luna smiled dazedly at Serena. "Muffins, munchies, and mice   
  
make all the world seem so nice!" she babbled, her little kitty eyes   
  
beady and unfocused.   
  
Serena just rolled her eyes at the fallen cat. "Get up already  
  
Luna. Jeez, even your whiskers are crooked," commented Serena.  
  
Luna shook her head and got shakily to her feet. She glared   
  
back at Serena. "Well they wouldn't be if you hadn't launched me into   
  
the air!" she said indignantly.  
  
Serena just stuck her nose high in the air. "Well, Chibi Chibi  
  
was launched into the air and she's not talking about muffins, munchies,  
  
and mice."  
  
The fur on Luna's back began to rise. "Well I'm sorry but I'm   
  
not *special* enough that I can pull magical umbrellas out of my arse!"   
  
Chibi Chibi put a finger on her chin and blinked. "Chibi Chibi,  
  
magical arse, Chibi Chibi?" she asked, cocking her head just a little   
  
to the side. Chibi Chibi was a little girl about a foot tall with   
  
bright pink hair wrapped in twin buns in the shape of hearts with little   
  
spirals coming out, and bright blue eyes that took up almost her entire  
  
face.  
  
Serena put her hands over the smaller girl's ears. "See what   
  
you did Luna! Teaching her bad words. You should be ashamed of   
  
yourself! And besides, it's ass, not arse."  
  
"First of all you are not the one to be teaching grammar, and   
  
second, at least I'm not teaching her bad habits, which is *all* you   
  
seem to do."  
  
"Ingrate!" screamed Serena.  
  
"Cream puff!" shot back Luna.  
  
They went on like that for some time until they finally heard   
  
a very incessant beeping.  
  
"Do you hear that?" asked Luna in her curiously strong British   
  
accent.  
  
"Yeah, but where is it coming from?" asked Serena. Their fight  
  
forgotten, they searched the room from top to bottom. Chibi Chibi   
  
obligingly threw clothes and objects around as if she was helping,   
  
actually breaking some in the process, but at least she did it   
  
"cutely". Though the trio combed the room, their efforts were all to   
  
no avail. Every time they thought they were close to the beeping, it   
  
mysteriously relocated itself.  
  
"That's it, I give up!" exclaimed Serena. They had been   
  
searching for a total of five minutes. Serena rolled her azure eyes   
  
and shook her head. "Oh well, I suppose if we don't find it then we   
  
weren't meant to find it," she said and yawned. Just then Chibi Chibi   
  
randomly ran over to her, jumped into her lap, and fell fast asleep.   
  
That was when Serena noticed the beeping had gotten significantly   
  
louder. She looked down, and her eyes got very wide. "Uh, Luna, I   
  
think I found my communicator," she said hesitantly.  
  
Luna jumped up from the catnap she had just taken, instantly   
  
awake. "Well then, where is it?" she asked.  
  
With a bemused face she pointed to the sleeping figure of Chibi  
  
Chibi.   
  
"Let's search her then," said Luna.  
  
"But she's sleeping!" exclaimed Serena.   
  
"Oh for heaven's sake," said Luna as she rolled her eyes. "I   
  
know you don't want to answer the damn thing, but stop giving stupid   
  
excuses. Just pick her up and search her clothes. It's not as if it's  
  
that small. We should find it fairly fast."  
  
Ten minutes later they had searched Chibi Chibi all over with   
  
nothing to show for it. To make matters worse Chibi Chibi was still   
  
beeping that continuous, annoying, beep, beep, beep, though Chibi Chibi  
  
herself didn't seem to be bothered by it in the least.   
  
"Wait a minute," said Serena. In a rare moment of insight, the  
  
elder girl picked up the small pink haired girl and held her up to her   
  
ear. Serena listened for only a moment, and then her eyes got even   
  
rounder, and her mouth made a perfect O.   
  
"What is it, Serena?" asked Luna, a sinking feeling in her   
  
little feline tummy.  
  
"My communicator isn't *on* her, it's *in* her," said Serena.  
  
"Oh, bloody hell," said Luna in her crisp, upper crust British   
  
accent. Somehow, it was the perfect thing to say at the moment.  
  
The next thirty minutes of Serena and Chibi Chibi's life were   
  
just too horrible to describe, so I won't. Let's just say that it   
  
involved a little coaxing, a lot of laxatives, and a shit load (if   
  
you'll pardon the pun) of disinfectants.   
  
After what seemed like a lifetime later, the communicator was   
  
recovered, and Chibi Chibi was, for the most part, back to her old   
  
self. She sure wouldn't be eating anymore electronic devices of   
  
Serena's, at least for a little while.  
  
As Serena pressed the appropriate button Sailor Mars' face came  
  
into view.   
  
"Sweet Goddess Serena, were the HELL have you been? I know you  
  
like to sleep in but I would have thought the communicator would have   
  
woken you up faster. We're in some damn trouble down here!" cried   
  
Mars. Cuts ran up and down her face, her hair was a mess, and it   
  
looked like her suit was torn.  
  
"I'm sorry Mars, but I had some trouble getting to my   
  
communicator," said Serena sheepishly.   
  
"Well where the HELL was it?" asked Mars.  
  
"Uh, Chibi Chibi swallowed it," said Serena.  
  
Mars just rolled her eyes, shook her head, and her picture   
  
wavered as she shoved the communicator into someone else's hand. "Here.   
  
I just can't handle her anymore," Mars' voice trailed off. A second   
  
later Mercury's head popped into view. She looked even worse than Mars   
  
with multiple cuts on her face and the skin around her right eye puffy   
  
and purple, but curiously already healing.  
  
"Please just get here soon Serena. We really need your help,"   
  
she Mercury, her voice tired.  
  
"Where are you?" asked Serena.  
  
"About two blocks from the arcade. You should be able to spot   
  
us once you get there," said Mercury.   
  
"I'll be there right away!" said Serena. She ran down the   
  
stairs so quickly she knocked her brother over in the process her long   
  
blond pigtails flying after her.   
  
"Where are you going Serena?" called her mom.   
  
"To save the day!" cried Serena. She winced as Luna swiped her  
  
already sore calves. Serena's mom just stared after her daughter with   
  
sad eyes.  
  
"Such a waste of such good speed. She refuses to even try out   
  
for track," she said.   
  
Chibi Chibi had meanwhile just gone out the door after Serena,   
  
following easily with her magical umbrella, floating high above the   
  
populous, navigating the airways with the skill of long borne practice.   
  
Or just pure dumb luck.   
  
Far below her Luna scowled as she ran. It still wasn't her   
  
fault that fault that she couldn't pull magical umbrella's out of her   
  
arse.   
  
~EnD ChApTeR~ 


	2. Chapter 2

Konichiwa!!  
  
There was such a massive outpouring of support for this story, that I   
  
made this chapter extra long even though I had to fill out and send in  
  
all my college apps this week.   
  
Thank you to all those who emailed me. After you're finished with this,  
  
tell me what you think if you have time, please!  
  
Thanx again!  
  
Here are some RANDOM RANTS for the week....  
  
1. Beware of Bats. They like to get caught up in your hair.  
  
2. Beware of family members with gifts when no holiday is in sight.  
  
3. College Apps are a PAIN IN THE ARSE!  
  
4. "If I go crazy than will you still call superman?"  
  
5. How does eating a five pound box of chocolates make you gain 15 lbs?  
  
6. Why do women have to have a support group to go to the bathroom?  
  
I do admit that I am one of these.  
  
7. What is the point of beef jerky in today's world? What need have we for  
  
spoiled meat?  
  
8. On that note, no I will NOT "step into a slim jim"  
  
9. Why would you ever want to "smack down" a "candy ass"?   
  
10. The next person who lands on my ankle DIES. A horrible and painful death.  
  
11. Why is it that you can remember that you forgot something, but you can't  
  
remember what the something is?  
  
12. Ever walk into a room and forget why you went their in the first place?  
  
The elves did it, I tell ye, the elves!  
  
13. On that note, I request a new dandy pair of shoes (from the magical shoe  
  
elves that I saw on t.v. awhile back).  
  
14. When my dog, foxy, want me to throw his ball, he will sit with it in front  
  
of me staring forelornly at me, yet turn away when I try to get his ball. But yet   
  
he keeps coming back until I take it from him and throw it. He of course happily  
  
runs after it, brings it back, and the whole process starts over again. I think this  
  
says something about us as a societ. humans, not dogs.  
  
15. I saw someone (a human) try to breast feed a cat. It was all in jest of  
  
course, but it didn't help that the someone was a male.  
  
I FEEL VIOLATED!!!  
  
Because I'm severely tired and sleep depraved, I only leave with one  
  
thought before I go off into la la land.  
  
...Can't sleep, clows will eat me...  
  
...Can't sleep, clows will eat me...  
  
...Can't sleep, clows will eat me...  
  
...Can't sleep, clows will eat me...  
  
...Can't sleep, clows will eat me...   
  
...Can't sleep, clows will eat me...  
  
...Can't sleep, clows will eat me...  
  
Thank you, and good nite.  
  
Hope you like!!! te. he.  
  
(Princess, you should get a kick out of this)  
  
Oh yes, and for all of those who care, the Gudam  
  
boys DO show up in this chapter. Say hi to them for me!  
  
On with the story!  
  
~ The Queen has spoken.  
  
So it is written, so it shall be.  
  
~*~  
  
When the Sailor Senshi Meet the Gundam Wing Boys   
  
and   
  
Everything Goes Frightfully Wrong  
  
~*~ Part 2 ~*~  
  
Serena arrived on the scene and was met with a ghastly site. A  
  
very large... *thing*, had two of the four Inner Senshi in its grip.   
  
The thing was hideous, it was monstrous, it was... it was...  
  
It was a giant teddy bear.  
  
That's right, a giant teddy bear, gone horribly, horribly wrong.  
  
The arms were elongated and twisted, as if they had been   
  
caught in a lawnmower, and the bear's legs were short and stubby. Its   
  
eyes were beady and large, and the smile was no longer cute, it was   
  
maniacal, complete with huge, sharp teeth and bad breath.   
  
STOMP...  
  
...STOMP...  
  
......STOMP...  
  
It was slowly walking over towards Serena. Or should I say   
  
waddling. The short stubby legs could not bend at all, so the bear   
  
ended up walking like a penguin. It was both comical and unnerving.   
  
Serena stared up at the massive monster teddy bear and shrugged.  
  
"Eh, at least it's not a Teletubbie," she said.  
  
"Amen to that," said Luna, her little kitty eyes round and   
  
frightened.   
  
"Hey, meatball head, want to transform before the world FREEZES  
  
OVER!" yelled Sailor Mars from her perilous position in one of the teddy   
  
bear's hands.   
  
"Hold on guys, I'll save you!" cried Serena, when she realized   
  
what she was actually there for.   
  
She lifted her hand into the sky with her magical talisman and   
  
shouted her magical phrase. You know the one.  
  
"Moon Eternal! Make up!" she cried. In seconds Serena was   
  
bathed in a magical, bright light. She was literally stripped of   
  
clothes, and refitted for new ones.   
  
In the background: STOMP... STOMP...  
  
A shiny crescent moon appeared on Serena's forehead. A white   
  
body suit attached to her body, while matching knee-high boots appeared  
  
on her feet. The skirt was yellow, red, and blue respectively, in   
  
three layers. Her collar was blue, and her... shoulder pads were very   
  
round and very pink.   
  
Background: STOMP... STOMP...   
  
On her hands appeared long white gloves, and on her breast   
  
there appeared a heart with a crescent moon and little bitty wings   
  
around it. Oh yeah, and on her back there were two very large, very   
  
fabric wings that served *absolutely no purpose*.   
  
When the light had faded Sailor Moons stood before the massive   
  
monster penguin-waddling sharp toothed bad breathed stubby legged teddy  
  
bear in all her, ah, glory.  
  
"I am the pretty suited soldier Sailor Moon..."  
  
STOMP.... STOMP...  
  
"I will right wrongs and..."  
  
STOMP... CREAK...  
  
...WHAP...  
  
Sailor Moon was cut off mid opening as she was hurled into the   
  
air because one massive teddy bear foot that had kicked out just   
  
moments before.   
  
"Ahhh!" she cried as she flew through the air with the greatest  
  
of unease.  
  
The monster teddy bear had taken its sweet time in traveling,   
  
but it had finally made it the fifty or so feet between him and Sailor   
  
Moon and promptly lashed out. Dropping Sailor Mars unceremoniously on   
  
the ground, he reached down and picked up the now unconscious Sailor   
  
Moon. The bear grinned toothily and mumbled something under his breath.  
  
Mars picked herself up, dusted herself off, rolled her eyes, and   
  
asked, "What did that thing say?"   
  
Mercury and Jupiter, who were the only ones who were still free,   
  
had just walked over.  
  
"I think it said, 'Ooo, shiny thing,' but I'm not sure," said   
  
Jupiter, scratching her head. The sleeves and half of her skirt were   
  
ripped off of her uniform.  
  
Luna just shook he head. "Never mind that now, did anything   
  
you attack that hideous creature with stun it at all? We need to find   
  
out how to get Sailor Moon out of its paw safely so she can use her   
  
power."  
  
"What powers? All she does is wave her damn wand around and   
  
make everything 'better', but only after everyone else has stunned the   
  
damn monster so that it's as harmless as a fly," said Mars bitterly.  
  
"You watch your mouth!" said Mercury, her blue eyes blazing.   
  
"Sailor Moon has brought us back to life more times than you can count,   
  
and you have no right to speak to her like that!" she told the black   
  
haired priestess-in-training.  
  
Mars sighed. "I guess you're right. She does have her uses,"   
  
she relented.  
  
"Uh, guys, before we debate any more about the relevance of   
  
Sailor Moon, do you think we could save Tokyo first?" asked Jupiter, as  
  
she let out a ball of thunder that hit the teddy bear directly on the   
  
chest, but had no effect.  
  
The teddy bear, since the conversations had begun, had steadily  
  
waddled over half of downtown Tokyo. It had just stepped on the arcade  
  
only seconds before Jupiter had let loose her lightning ball.  
  
"Oh, the horror, the horror!" sobbed Sailor Moon from the palm   
  
of the bear.   
  
Venus, meanwhile, was seething in the bear's opposite paw.   
  
"Goddamn it, if this monster pulls another one of my beautiful hairs, I  
  
will just SCREAM!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Oh, what are we to do," said Sailor Moon in what sounded   
  
suspiciously like a Southern Belle accent. She laid the back of her   
  
right hand on her forehead and sighed quite loudly.  
  
"Stop being so Goddamn MELODRAMITIC!" screamed Mars. "Mars   
  
Flame Sniper!" she cried. Mars let loose an arrow of fire that flew   
  
and hit the bear's hand only a foot away from Sailor Moon. The bear's   
  
hand twitched and Sailor Moon plummeted to the ground.  
  
"Great shot!" commented Jupiter.  
  
Mars rolled her eyes. "What are you talking about? I missed!"  
  
Jupiter would have laughed, except that the look in Mars' eyes  
  
Left doubt as to if she was telling the truth or not.  
  
They heard a familiar incantation and turned back to find that   
  
Sailor Moon had already changed the huge teddy bear back to its regular,   
  
un-monstrous size.  
  
"Thank the Goddess that nightmare is over!" said Venus.   
  
Famous last words.  
  
STOMP...  
  
...STOMPSTOMP...  
  
......STOMPSTOMPSTOMP.........  
  
.........STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP.........  
  
Jupiter, Venus, Mercury, Mars, Moon, and Luna all turned their   
  
heads extra slowly to look behind them. What they saw shook them down   
  
to their very bones.   
  
Stuffed animals of all shapes and denominations were approaching  
  
them. They were all huge, all deformed in some way, and they all had   
  
very, very sharp teeth.  
  
"*OH MY GOD*," said Luna, and promptly fainted.  
  
The Inner Senshi all got ready to fight. This wasn't the hardest   
  
thing they had ever had to face. It was by far the weirdest, but it   
  
certainly wasn't the hardest.  
  
All of a sudden the ground shook.  
  
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM sounded behind the scouts.  
  
All five of them turned heads very slowly in unison once more.   
  
They were met with another very, very frightening sight.  
  
Five very large transformers were situated behind them, of   
  
varying colors and shapes, complete with their own unique weapons.  
  
"Hey aren't those..." Venus started.  
  
"Transformers," finished Sailor Moon very gloomily.  
  
In the background Jupiter was singing the theme song.   
  
"*Transformers, more than meets the eye*. " Mars promptly reached out   
  
and smacked her.  
  
"Oh that is just *it*. I am so NOT fighting a reject toy from   
  
the 80s!" screamed Mercury, for once fed up.  
  
  
  
In the cockpit of Deathscythe, Duo's eyes got very round.   
  
"Did she just call us reject toys from the 80s?" he asked.  
  
"Does it matter?" asked Heero.   
  
Duo's face contorted in a mask of rage. "Of COURSE it matters.   
  
I am NOT a reject toy from the 80s!" he screamed.  
  
"Do you even know what one is?" asked Trowa in his soft,   
  
unobtrusive voice.  
  
....  
  
Silence reined.   
  
Quatre was smiling, and everyone could tell, even without the   
  
vid-link.   
  
"Maybe we should go down and speak to those young women.   
  
Perhaps they know why we are here and why stuffed animals seem to be   
  
running amok," he said.  
  
"You know," said Wufei, "We seem to be in Japan of the twentieth   
  
century. Perhaps they are filming another one of their *Godzilla*   
  
movies."  
  
Heero sighed. "All right everyone, let's go down and tell the   
  
little girls that they have to play dress up somewhere else."  
  
One by one they hopped out of their Gundams and landed gracefully   
  
on the ground.  
  
  
  
"Eeek!" cried Venus. "Are those little plastic boys?"   
  
"If they are I'll be sure and snap their little plastic heads   
  
off!" cried Jupiter grinning a feral smile. She fell back into a fighting  
  
stance once again.  
  
"Plastic? I am not plastic!" shouted a very short boy with   
  
brown hair in a braid that reached his waist. He pulled his cap to the  
  
side (80s style for all those of you who were wondering) and pouted.   
  
He was dressed in a black jumpsuit.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
...STOMP...  
  
......STOMPSTOMP......  
  
.........STOMPSTOMPSTOMP.........  
  
Sailor Mars watched the hoard of malignant stuffed animals inch  
  
ever closer.   
  
"Look you little G.I. Joe's, or whatever you are, you better   
  
get off the battlefield real soon. The fighting is going to get a   
  
little rough," she said.  
  
"I don't know what G.I. Joey's are, but I can assure you we   
  
aren't them," said a boy with light brown hair cut in a very peculiar   
  
style...  
  
"Yeah, like we're going to believe you when you're hair defies   
  
gravity!" cried Venus.  
  
"What are you talking about?" asked the boy whose hair defied   
  
gravity. (It's Trowa if you haven't guessed yet.)  
  
"You know what I'm talking about! Every time you turn your   
  
head it either goes to one side, or the other, never in the middle! It  
  
sticks out at a ninety degree angle from your freaking head!" she said.  
  
  
  
Quatre laughed lightly. "You know, I think she's right Trowa.   
  
You're hair does seem to defy gravity."  
  
Trowa said nothing, merely glared.  
  
Silence reined, so Wufei decided to break it.  
  
"Just how are you *little girls* going to battle those... things,"   
  
asked Wufei, his chin high in the air, his black eyes piercing.   
  
"We have battle armor of course," said a tall brown haired girl  
  
with piercing green eyes and an unbelievably short green skirt.  
  
"And just where, may I ask, is this battle armor?" sneered   
  
Wufei.  
  
The brown haired girl just tossed her head. "We're wearing it   
  
of course."  
  
Wufei's jaw actually dropped.   
  
Duo poked Heero in the side. "Whoa. I don't think I've ever   
  
seen him do that before."  
  
Heero shrugged. "Bound to happen sooner or later."  
  
Wufei looked the girls up and down, looked back at the massive   
  
Gundams, and then back at the girls again. He did this three more   
  
times and then finally looked unbelievingly at the brown haired girl.   
  
"You dare to call what you wear *battle armor*, when you stand before   
  
Shenlong?" he asked aghast. He swept his arm wide to indicate his   
  
Gundam.   
  
  
  
"Ah isn't that cute?" asked Venus, already getting starry-eyed.  
  
"He named his transformer.   
  
"Damn it," said the short man with the long black ponytail.   
  
"It is not a transformer!" he exclaimed, crossing his arms over his   
  
chest indignantly.   
  
...STOMP...  
  
......STOMPSTOMP......  
  
.........STOMPSTOMPSTOMP.........  
  
"We really don't have all this time to debate. Those things   
  
are getting closer," said Mars.   
  
Sailor Moon was currently cooing at one of the monster stuffed   
  
animals.  
  
"Ah, but look at the cute little bunny one!" she said, clapping  
  
her hands together ecstatically. "Can we keep that one?" she asked   
  
hopefully, her eyes becoming big and watery.  
  
"NO!" shouted the rest of the Inner Senshi together.  
  
...STOMP...  
  
"Time to meet the enemy," said Jupiter, smiling manically. She   
  
was ready to kick some more stuffed ass.  
  
  
  
"Oh, Jesus," said Trowa under his breath. Luckily, no one   
  
heard him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Hey Everyone!  
  
Here it is, finally, I hope you guys like it!   
  
Tell me what you think!  
  
~The Queen has spoken,  
  
So it is written, so it shall be.  
  
~*~  
  
Part 3  
  
The monstrous stuffed animals were fast approaching, and the   
  
girls just did not know what to do about the strange boys who had come   
  
out the transformers.   
  
"Oh who cares," said Jupiter. "They can either take care of   
  
themselves or they can get off the battlefield. Their preference."  
  
"Jupiter!" cried Sailor Moon. "We are supposed to save people   
  
from the bad guys, not let innocent boys get stomped by overzealous   
  
toys!"  
  
"Overzealous? Gee Sailor Moon, is that your new vocabulary   
  
word for the year?" asked Mars.  
  
"Shut up!" yelled Moon.  
  
"Make me," challenged Mars.  
  
"Come on, just calm down you two!" said Mercury as she tried to  
  
separate the two girls who were currently hissing and sticking their   
  
tongue out at each other.  
  
  
  
Quatre leaned over to Trowa. "Do you think they're... okay?"   
  
he asked uncertainly.  
  
"Right now it doesn't matter. We must stick to the objective   
  
at hand, and those stuffed toys are coming fast," observed Trowa. It   
  
was the most he'd said since they had arrived.  
  
"Yes, let's get ready to fight. We don't know what we're   
  
supposed to do here, or even for sure where we are, but I suppose we   
  
can't let the animals stomp the girls, even if they are weird," said   
  
Heero. The others nodded.  
  
  
  
Jupiter just shook her head. "Let's kick these animals into the  
  
next millennium," she said. "*Then* we can fight amongst ourselves."  
  
Mars and Moon looked at each other, and then at Jupiter. Both   
  
shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, okay," they said in unison.  
  
The animals were very close now, almost upon the group. The   
  
strange boys had reentered their transformers, and the Senshi got ready  
  
to party.   
  
"Yo Venus, you ready?" yelled Jupiter.  
  
"Ready and waiting!" she answered back.  
  
"Supreme Thunder!" yelled Jupiter as Venus called out,   
  
"Crescent Beam!"  
  
Pure electricity mixed with pure energy and created an extremely  
  
strong bright beam that happened to lance through a stuffed Tweetie.   
  
The stuffed Tweetie wailed and flailed but eventually fell to the ground  
  
and shrunk back to normal size.  
  
  
  
"Uh, guys?" asked Duo.  
  
A dazed "Yeah," answered him.  
  
"Did you by any chance see a beam of yellow light come out of   
  
the chick with the red bow's hand?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And did you happen to see a bolt of lightning come out of the   
  
brown haired chick's crown?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Does anybody know what the hell kind of world we landed on?"   
  
asked Duo. "There are some serious wackos here!" he exclaimed.  
  
"I wouldn't complain if I were you, Duo," said Wufei with an   
  
unmistakable air of superiority. "You were the one who just *had* to   
  
investigate that, and I quote, 'cool looking' rip in space."  
  
"Maybe I shouldn't have gone so close to the hole, but since   
  
you followed me, *I* wouldn't be talking if I were you!" Duo yelled   
  
back.  
  
"But you're not me. I guess there are some things to be thankful  
  
for in this world," said Wufei, tossing his head.  
  
"Yes, there are some things to be thankful for. Why would I   
  
ever want to be a hypocritical bastard like you. Tell me, do you *ever*  
  
take that stick out of your ass?" asked Duo.  
  
"I am not a hypocrite!" yelled Wufei.  
  
"Are too!"   
  
"Am not!"   
  
The two yelled back and forth to each other like that for a   
  
while, the on lookers just kind of shrugging.   
  
Heero was currently navigating his Gundam, Wing Zero, to the   
  
nearest snarling stuffed animal, namely a big pink elephant. He   
  
dispatched it calmly and efficiently. In other words he punched it   
  
real hard. Stuffed elephant fall down go boom.   
  
  
  
Sailor Venus watched in awe as the massive transformer effectively  
  
punched one of the stuffed animals so hard that it fell down and shrunk  
  
back to normal size, shattering only a few buildings in the process.  
  
"Whoa. Did you see that girls?" she asked dazedly.  
  
"Yeah," said Mars distractedly, currently trying to dispatch an  
  
overlarge cabbage-patch kid. "Burning Mandala!" she screamed. Several  
  
rings of fire flew towards the doll and set it on fire. It screamed   
  
and ran around for a few minutes before falling down and shrinking back  
  
to normal size, though it was still on fire. Mars smiled maniacally.   
  
"Burn baby, burn!" she yelled.  
  
"Ah, ooookay," said Venus. "Hey Sailor Moon, did you see what   
  
that transformer did?" asked Venus.  
  
"Yes," said Sailor Moon smiling. "The same things those other   
  
transa-watcha-callems are doing." Sailor Moon very innocently pointed   
  
behind Venus, who looked and found that all the huge machines were now   
  
in the battle, though admittedly they were all using various weapons.  
  
"Cool," breathed Venus.   
  
  
  
In a matter of about ten minutes, between the Sailor Senshi   
  
and the Gundam pilots, the hideous monster stuffed animals were all but  
  
dispatched. Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mercury took out the last one   
  
with a "whoop" of joy.  
  
When all was said and done, the Gundam pilots faced the Sailor   
  
Senshi, and each looked at each other with a combination of wonderment,  
  
grudging respect, and a general urge to ask "What the hell?"  
  
After five minutes of staring Venus decide to take a chance and  
  
break the silence.  
  
"So, um, who the hell are you guys?" she asked sweetly.  
  
The short boy with the brown hair and the serious eyes gave her  
  
a very stern look. "We are not allowed to give you that information."  
  
"Oooooo, are you guys some kind of secret task force sent out   
  
to right the wrongs of a society that has a set of ideals that they're   
  
supposed to live by but really can't so they need someone to keep the   
  
peace without destroying those ideals but no one can no or the ideals   
  
will be forever lost so that's why your secret or something like that?"  
  
asked Sailor Moon in one breath.  
  
  
  
Duo's right eyebrow had risen sometime during the question, and  
  
had now begun to twitch.  
  
  
  
Mars rolled her eyes. "I think you've been watching too much   
  
TV Sailor Moon," she said.  
  
Sailor Moon put her hands on her hips. "You can never watch   
  
too much TV," she answered.  
  
"And YOU are part of the group of people who give young people   
  
a bad name," said Mars.  
  
"Am not!" yelled Moon.  
  
"Are too!" yelled Mars.  
  
"AM NOT!"  
  
"ARE TOO!"  
  
The rest of the population tried their best to ignore the two   
  
girls who were now blowing raspberry's at each other like there was no   
  
tomorrow.  
  
"Can we at least get your names?" asked Venus hopefully. Hey,   
  
she might be able to secure a boyfriend out of this.  
  
Everyone kind of shifted their eyes to Heero. He sighed. "We   
  
cannot release our identities," he said.  
  
"But we are in the middle of nowhere with no idea what planet   
  
we're on, what universe we're in, or even what *time* we are in. We're  
  
going to need someone's help, why can't we have theirs?" asked Duo.  
  
"He's right," said Quatre. "We really need some information,   
  
and as these girl's seem to have the same job that we do, perhaps it   
  
would be best if we talked to them."  
  
Trowa just nodded.  
  
Wufei just lifted his head, his eyes beady. "I do not need   
  
help from women," he said simply.  
  
Heero looked long and hard as his team, and finally he   
  
consented. At the very least he was pretty sure that they weren't on   
  
the same Earth that they knew, so it was probably okay. Still, he   
  
didn't have to like it. "All right, fine. My name is Yui Heero. You   
  
do give the last name first here, too, correct?" he asked, suddenly   
  
unsure. (Note: In Japanese culture they usually introduce someone by   
  
announcing their last name first because in Japan family is very   
  
important, and your family name tends to be a little bit more important  
  
than your first name. Scary isn't it)  
  
The blond girl with the big red bow nodded. She also had an   
  
annoying habit of blinking very fast in his direction. He wondered if   
  
she had a twitch or something.   
  
"My name is Maxwell Duo. You can call me Duo," he said, winking.  
  
He flung his waist-length ponytail over his shoulder, cocked his hat to  
  
the side, and struck a pose.   
  
The girls shook their heads.  
  
"Hi, I'm Quatre. It's my first name and I'd be honored if you'd  
  
use it," he said, bowing just a little formally.  
  
Trowa inclined his head. "Barton Trowa." A man of few words.  
  
"My name is Wufei Chang. You may call me by Wufei, if you must  
  
call me at all."  
  
  
  
Sailor Moon smiled at the group. They seemed like nice boys.   
  
"My name is Tsu- ah, I mean Sailor Moon," she said awkwardly. Mars had  
  
kicked her when she realized her slight, though Moon had recovered   
  
admirably. "This is Sailor Mars, that over there is Sailor Venus, the   
  
tall one is Sailor Jupiter, and the one with the computer is Sailor   
  
Mercury."  
  
Duo was currently on the ground, laughing so hard he could   
  
barely contain himself.   
  
"What is it?" asked Sailor Moon.   
  
"Your (pant) name is (chuckle) Sailor (chuckle) *snort*   
  
(chuckle) Moon (chuckle)?" he asked, trying to contain himself. "Do   
  
your parents have a horrible sense of humor or what?" he asked. "Is   
  
Sailor your first name or your last?" Again he dissolved into fits of   
  
laughter again.  
  
Sailor Moon looked at him aghast. "Sailor Moon isn't even my   
  
real name. I have a very pretty name! My name is-" and that was as far  
  
as she got before she was assaulted by four very angry Senshi who   
  
promptly clamped their hands over her mouth.  
  
"What she means to say," began Mercury, "Is that what we are   
  
wearing is actually our disguises, and we'd rather not disclose what   
  
our real names are because it would effectively blow our cover, so to   
  
speak," she said.   
  
Wufei sneered. "You have no honor then! We have told you our   
  
real names, will you not disclose your?" he asked.  
  
Duo just looked doubtfully at the Senshi. "How is *that*   
  
supposed to be a disguise?" he asked.   
  
Quatre's eyebrows drew together. "Yeah... We can see your   
  
face," he said confusedly.   
  
"Not to mention quite a lot of other things," said Duo, eyeing   
  
Jupiter skirt, which was in tatters by now.  
  
"Why you little..." she said as she started to advance on him.   
  
Venus and Mercury had to hold her back.  
  
Duo backed up with his hands in front of him. "Hey, I'm only   
  
stating the truth," he said, smiling a little nervously. The look that  
  
Jupiter was giving him was none to friendly.  
  
"Yeah, well, state the truth like that again and I'll put a   
  
lightning bolt up your nether regions," she said, smiling maniacally.   
  
"Ah, don't mind her," said Sailor Moon. She moved to stand in   
  
front of Jupiter. "She needs another dose of her medicine about now."  
  
"Quiet you!" yelled Jupiter.  
  
Heero shook his head. "The accusation still stand," he said,   
  
"that we have given you our names, and we should have yours." He left   
  
out the fact that Yui Heero was not exactly his *real* name, but it was  
  
more real than 'Sailor Moon'.   
  
Sailor Moon looked around at her fellow Scouts. "Group huddle,"  
  
she said. All the Senshi gathered together several yards away from the  
  
boys. Luna, who had just regained consciousness from the shock of   
  
seeing all the giant stuffed animals, joined the huddle.  
  
"So what do you think guys? Should we tell them who we are or   
  
not?" asked Sailor Moon.  
  
"Well, we can safely say those boys are not from around here,"   
  
said Sailor Mars. "They're too weird."  
  
"I agree. The fact that they didn't seem to know us, coupled   
  
with the fact that if they were native to this world we would have   
  
heard something about their... machines," commented Mercury.  
  
"They're cute," said Venus.  
  
"They look just like my last boyfriend," sighed Jupiter.   
  
Everyone face vaulted.  
  
"But Jupiter," said Mars, showing magnificent patience, "they   
  
all look different."  
  
"Yeah," said Jupiter dreamily.   
  
"...And they all look like your old boyfriend?" asked Venus.  
  
"Yeah," said Jupiter.  
  
Mercury finally snapped. "You were just yelling at one of   
  
them, yet now you're in love with them?" she asked.  
  
"Just because you fight, doesn't mean there's no room for love,"  
  
said Jupiter, a distant look in her eyes.  
  
Sailor Moon cocked her head to the side. "So which one do you   
  
like?" she asked confusedly.  
  
"All of them," said Jupiter.  
  
"NO! You *can't* like all of them!" screamed Venus. "I've   
  
already claimed the boy with the braid and the serious one!" she said.   
  
"Oh yeah, and the blonde one. The one with the hair that defies   
  
gravity isn't that bad either. If I give him a haircut... hm..."  
  
"What? Why do you get all of them?" yelled Mars. "And why do   
  
you want the blonde one? Cradle robber!"   
  
"I can get however many I want, and I am NOT a cradle robber!"   
  
Venus yelled back.  
  
The five Senshi fell to arguing for a few minutes, but when   
  
they realized that the boys were staring at them as if they had sprouted  
  
third ears, they calmed down.  
  
"Uh, okay guys, we've decided that we'll help you out, and   
  
we'll tell you our names. You can even stay at Mars' Temple. It's just  
  
easier that way," said Sailor Mercury. They had decided in amongst the  
  
fighting that they would reveal their identities when they arrived at   
  
the temple.  
  
Heero took the Gundam boys to the side.   
  
"So?" he asked, looking around.  
  
Duo smiled. "I think we should go. We don't have anywhere to  
  
stay, and besides, I think they're kind of cute."  
  
"They seem nice enough, and we're going to need people to help   
  
us figure out what happened," commented Quatre.  
  
Trowa shook his head. "I think you guys are missing the point.  
  
We have no idea who these girls are. We have no clue about how they   
  
shot magical things out of their hands, and besides all that, that   
  
blond girl, Sailor Venus, keeps winking at me!" he said.  
  
The rest of the Gundam pilots took a while to respond. They   
  
were all to busy being in awe. Trowa did not usually say that much in   
  
a day, much less at one time.  
  
Wufei recovered the quickest. "I agree. Girls are nothing but  
  
trouble. We can gain nothing from an alliance with them."  
  
Again Heero sighed. "We don't have much of a choice. We need   
  
information about where we are, and if they have... magical... abilities,  
  
then maybe they can help us get back home. Besides, if they turn out   
  
to be the enemy, we can just kill them."  
  
Duo nodded grimly. "I hope it won't come to that, but if these  
  
girls mean us harm, then we shall do our duty."  
  
"Do your duty? Why don't you just go find another black hole   
  
to jump in to?" asked Wufei sardonically.   
  
"That's it, I'm going to kick your-" began Duo, but he was cut   
  
off by Heero.   
  
"Now is not the time to fight," said Heero.  
  
Duo grumbled but finally acquiesced. "Fine. But me and Wufei   
  
are going to box later."  
  
"Whatever," said Heero. "We shall go with the girls, but we   
  
shall watch them closely."  
  
"Agreed," said Quatre happily.  
  
"Agreed," said Duo with a devilish smile.  
  
Trowa sighed and simply nodded.  
  
Wufei turned his head to the side and would say nothing. But   
  
neither did he protest.   
  
The group of boys walked back over to the Senshi.  
  
"Very well, we shall go with you," said Heero.  
  
"Yippee!" yelled Venus. "We get to take the G.I. Joes home!   
  
We get to take the G.I. Joes home!" she chanted over and over again.   
  
The totally in love look had faded from Jupiter's eyes and she   
  
had taken on a disdainful one in her place. Sure, she loved all of   
  
them, but she wouldn't let that get in the way of her protecting the   
  
Earth. The boys might be hot, but they also had the potential of being  
  
enemies. That, and she wanted to play hard to get.  
  
Mars' thumb was currently in her mouth. Crap. How was she   
  
going to explain five boys coming to live at the temple for an   
  
indefinite length of time? "Oh well," she said shrugging. "Grandpa   
  
will probably just put them to work."  
  
Sailor Moon just smiled. She wasn't really paying attention to  
  
the boys seeing as how she was currently searching for the cute little   
  
bunny that just minutes before had been one of the rampaging monstrous   
  
stuffed animals. It wasn't the bunny's fault.  
  
Sailor Mercury just shook her head. There were just no words   
  
for the madness that had just transpired. She just couldn't wait to   
  
tell the others about *this* one. She didn't even think Setsuna would   
  
believe her.  
  
They began to walk, everyone following Mars off in the distance.  
  
All around them Tokyo onlookers were starting to emerge and look at the  
  
destruction that was now downtown Tokyo.  
  
Before they had gotten to far, Sailor Moon looked back and   
  
realized there was something wrong with the picture, besides the fact   
  
that Tokyo was smoldering.   
  
"Um, guys, what are you going to do with your Transformers?"   
  
she asked.  
  
The boys paled.   
  
Mars just rolled her eyes. "I guess you can stash them on the   
  
Temple grounds. We have a lot of trees surrounding it, it's the only   
  
building on a very large hill, and best of all Grandpa's eyesight is so  
  
poor he could legally be declared blind."  
  
That decided, each boy grabbed his Gundam quickly, and followed  
  
Mars to her temple. Surprisingly enough, the population of Tokyo was   
  
so caught up in the fact that their city was halfway in ruins that they  
  
paid little attention to the five large machines that were walking away  
  
from the destruction.  
  
The Senshi were very happy for this fact. At least there was   
  
something to be thankful for.  
  
It had been one screwy day. 


End file.
